January 2012
1 post
The lotus is strong in this one
Son: “Daddy, I learned some Yoda today, can I show you?”
Me: “Sure…do you mean yoga?”
Son: “Oh yeah, yoga.”
December 2011
1 post
Only my child
Madison wanted me to take her to the store so she could get her some M&Ms. As we pulled in, this was our conversation.
Madison~ Mama you don’t have any make up on.
Me~ Well honey I just got out of the shower.
Madison~ Well now I know why people wear makeup…
October 2011
1 post
Birthday Present
My Wife: What do you want for your birthday?
Jack (3):A car please but not like yours, i want a racing car?
September 2011
1 post
A hug for a hug
Me to 6yr old son : “You have an unlimited number of hugs in you, don’t you?”
Him : “Yeah. That’s because every time I give you a hug, you give me one back, so I never run out.”
August 2011
4 posts
Matthew (7): “It’s strange how Boy and Man have the same number of letters in but girl and woman don’t.”
I didn’t think of the word ‘lady’ until we had gotten out of the car much later.
Birds and the Bees. Doggy style.
(lying on the edge of my 4 yo’s bed at 6.45pm on a summer evening, trying to encourage him to go to sleep)
Charlie (4): How do you make a dog ?
Me (39): Well, a mummy dog and a daddy dog that love each other …. (Charlie interupts)
Charlie (moving his hands up towards the wall): I can’t make it look like a dog.
Me: *phew*
(I was doing dog shadow puppets with a torch, and...
Daddy?
One day myhusband called from work. After chatting about his annoying co-workers; he told me to hand the phone over to our son. I handed the phone to my 6 year old, and just watched. He and my husband talked for a little. Finally Regan put down the phone and walked up to me. “How was your chat?” I asked. “It was okay,” he answered. Then he added, “Anyway, who was that?”
Daddy?
One day myhusband called from work. After chatting about his annoying co-workers; he told me to hand the phone over to our son. I handed the phone to my 6 year old, and just watched. He and my husband talked for a little. Finally Regan put down the phone and walked up to me. “How was your chat?” I asked. “It was okay,” he answered. Then he added, “Anyway, who was that?”
July 2011
3 posts
Me: Do you want to go ice-skating tomorrow after your brother’s lesson we’ll go on the public session, and you can hire a penguin to hold onto
(a penguin is a 3 foot high plastic model of a penguin with handles that allows toddlers to keep -mostly- upright on the ice)
Charlie (4): No, I wasn’t born to do ice-skating.
Blueprints
5-yr old: “Mom, don’t you wish there was a machine so you would never have to clean the house again and again?”
Mom: “Yes, I would love that! Why don’t you starting building one?”
5-yr old: “Mom! I can’t do that! I don’t even have any blueprints!”
Full-Grown Tree
My Mom and my younger brother Corby, age 6, were talking one morning as Corby got ready for school. My Mom held up Corby’s shoes and said, “Corby, come over here bud, let’s get your shoes on.” Corby frowned, and answered, “Mom! I’m not a bud, I’m a full-grown tree!”
June 2011
2 posts
Spelling
My four year old: “Look what I spelled!” <pause>… “What did I spell?”
Maybe a bit too much tween TV . . .
I showed my five-year-old a picture of her nineteen-year-old cousin Anthony on Facebook to show her his new, very short, haircut. She ran out to the patio to tell her mom:
“Mom, Cousin Anthony got a haircut. Dad showed me a picture of him with two hot girls!”
May 2011
2 posts
Tomboy
Wife, to my 8-year-old daughter: “You’re so much like I was when I was your age! I was a tomboy, too.”
Daughter: “What? Don’t call me a boy!”
Wife: “No—that’s not what it means; I just mean you’d rather do sports and weary sporty clothes than do ballet and wear pink dresses. Me, too.”
Daughter: “Oh, that… yeah, sometimes...
Secret Service Agent (on the new Doctor Who series): Are you alright ma’am ?
4 yo son: She’s not a man !!!
April 2011
5 posts
Like olden times
I put on an old, black and white, Popeye cartoon for my boys. My three year old looked at the colorless tv for a few seconds, and then turned and says “It’s broke!”
Spider Ambulance
As we were driving, my son exclaimed, “A Spider Ambulance!”
Quite curious, of course, we turned to look at what he was talking about. It was an exterminator van with a big spider painted on it.
The shopkeeper's dilemma
4yo: I don’t want to work in an office. I want to be a shopkeeper. Mummy, what does a shopkeeper do if they want to go to the toilet?
Mummy: There’s usually 2 shopkeepers so one goes while the other one waits, and then the other one goes.
4yo: I’m rubbish at waiting
Innocence at its best.....
A little boy, after being shouted at by his mom (sitting sadly)
Dad asked : “What happened son?”
Kid : ”Dad, I can’t handle your wife anymore! I want my own wife!”
Lick it off
Mum: I thought I told you to wipe your mouth ? You have toothpaste on your lips.
4yo: Can you lick it off ?
March 2011
1 post
On Calling From The Car
Four year old: Daddy, can we call someone with your Loosetooth Phone?
February 2011
4 posts
A dad's comfort
My 5 year old daughter: “Mom is the best, but you’re better than nothing!”
Logic
Me: put on you gloves, so your hands won’t get cold
3yo: Where are your gloves, dad
Me: In my pocket
3yo: Oh, then your pocket won’t get cold
In the car
Travelling back from Cornwall with a bit of Neil Diamond playing. Sound goes down but 4 yo keeps singing…Sweet cow of mine, bom,bom,bom
which news do you want to hear first?
Me: how was your day?
4yo: I’ve got some good news, some bad news, and some middle-sized news
January 2011
1 post
K - I - S - S - I - N - G
7yo: Charlie and Reuben (girl, friend from nursery) sitting in a tree. K - I - S - S - I - N - G.
you try …
4yo: Matthew and Ryan (his cousin they are very close friends) sitting in a tree. Oh NO! The tree’s going to fall over.
December 2010
5 posts
Oh, WoW!
After realizing I’m losing my programming edge, due to casual playing of World of Warcraft, I closed my WoW account. My 5yo daughter’s response: “NO, daddy! They’ll DIE in there! Hey have to eat! What if a dragon eats them, or they could get ganked by Alliance!?” Okay, so maybe I played a wee bit more than I realized… :/
Hungry!
My son, to my wife who is in her third trimester of pregnancy:
Son: “Mommy, if you weren’t so hungry you could stop eating and help me look for the Lego piece that I’m missing.”
Wife: “Um… yeah, I can’t argue with that.” <back to eating>
Mommy's Real Name
Mommy: “What is my name, Anna?”
My three year old Anna: “Mommy.”
Mommy: “No my real name like what Daddy calls me?”
Anna: “You mean knucklehead?”
Innocence
I’ve recently bought a small workshop a couple minutes walk from my house and was talking to my 13 year old son about it…
Me: You can have a key if you want to go over there and make something.
Sam: Well, maybe.
Me: Well, you might be more interested when you have a girlfriend (thinking what I could have done had I had a key to somewhere when I first got into girls).
Sam: I...
Avatar ingrained
This happened a few days after we watched like 4 times in a week the movie Avatar with my girls (4yo & 7yo).
4yo: Look Dad! We found a slug! (in the backyard)
7yo: A couple classmates at school killed a slug last week by repeatedly pricking it with a stick.
4yo: No!!! That’s BAD! You don’t have to kill the slug! It’s part of THE NATURE!
(explanation of the...
Yum!
“You know what the BEST thing is about eating boogers?” — this implies there are a myriad of good things about doing that, and that something can actually be the best.
November 2010
18 posts
Body Parts
Mommy: An elephant has a tail. Do you have a tail, bud?
2yr old boy: No … I have a peanut.
Radish Aversion
Yesterday in the grocery store my 5 year old says, “mom, I don’t like radishes because they give you a radish.”
We can all be first
Negotiating who gets the first go of a new game on the wii:
8yo to 4yo “I’ll go first, then you can go first”
Natural Twenty
My five-year old daughter came home from kindergarten with a skinned knee yesterday. When asked how it happened, she said, “We were playing Dungeons and Dragons. I was the Dungeon Master.”
Proud moment for me.
Party Slip
This morning we were running a bit behind and Titus (5) worriedly asks me, “mommy, are we going to get a party slip?” hehe, he meant tardy slip, but I like his idea of school better!
Bad Monkey!
11 year old: I don’t know how to summon King Kong yet. But I know how to make a monkey kill a person!
Has to with playing “Pocket God” on the iPhone…
Never mind Transformers 3
A Conversation between my son and his buddy at a pizza place. Ashvin (10 yrs): “Hey, guess what, Transformers 3 is coming out!!” Shainal (8 yrs): “Yeah, I know… (with a great sigh)… but Megan Fox will not be there!” :-\
Cube-mate
Having outgrown the Dell Mini at five years of age, my daughter needed a new computer. My old desktop was still serviceable, and since it could easily run her games from PBS Kids, I decided to set it up on a spare table in my home office.
Later that night, she excused herself from the dinner table. When I asked her where she was going, she said, “Daddy, I’ll be in *our*...
Barney knows EVERYTHING
After a rainy day, walking with 4 years old daughter to school:
she: Dad, did you know birds use those puddles from rain to drink water?
me: Is that right? How did you know that?
she: Barney said so. Dad, Barney knows EVERYTHING!
Cool Vehicle
Talking to my two year old during bathtime.
Me: Hey Bud, how do you spell truck?
2 year Old: A - T - A - T
Me: Yeah, I wish I had an ATAT for a truck too.
Shaving off my beard
After shaving my beard off, my 5 yr old son says, “Dad, you look like a normal kid again!”
where do babies come from?
3 year old son, “mommy, why did baby Matthew come out your crack?”
Sleeping Voters
Conversation between mother and two-and-a-half-year-old son while voting:
Mother: “You need to keep your voice down and talk quietly.”
Son, looking around, “Who’s sleeping?”
Twins
Son: “Those two boys are twins.”
Parent: “That’s right, they are! How did you know?”
Son: “They have the same head.”
I love Daddy
Mother to 6yr old daughter.
Mother: I love you.
Daughter: I love Daddy.
Profound
My enquiring minded 7yr old daughter asked the other day: Who looked after the first baby mum and dad?
And so began an evolutionary chicken/egg conversation.
Work Clothes
“Daddy, are those your work clothes?”
“Yes.”
“Do you have work pajamas?”
October 2010
1 post
Mom: “What’s the magic word?
Child: “You never say it.”